A Local’s Guide to Wood Wraiths
Hi there!
My name is Cathy Haan, and I have been a licensed realtor in Minneapolis, Minnesota, for over fifteen years. One of the most common questions I get from potential homebuyers is about the prevalence of wood wraiths. So, I’ve written this article for my blog, Haan Talks Houses, in the hopes that I might be able to clear the air on this rarely addressed subject.
Minneapolis is home to, well, a whole lot of homes! They range in style and period from ranch to Italianate and reflect our region’s vibrant history. A common misconception is that you find wood wraiths only in certain styles of homes or homes of a certain age. As much as I’d like for it to be that simple, the issue is actually much more complex than that. However, there are a few periods and styles of homes that are more well-suited for these nasty pests.
Prairie homes, primarily built between 1910 and 1950, are frequently plagued by wood wraiths. These houses’ dark wood trimming and flooring give wood wraiths ample opportunity to take root. Prairie-style homes reached their peak during an era of American history blotted by two world wars and the Great Depression, so wood wraiths had plenty of dread to feed off.
Another frequently infested style is the American Tudor Revival. I probably don’t even need to say it, but if you spot the echo of a shrieking face in this style’s iconic half-timbers, use that as an opportunity to negotiate for a lower price immediately. Thank me later.
Lastly, I hear about wood wraiths from Victorian homeowners quite often, for obvious reasons.
The important thing to remember, though, is that wood wraiths are not isolated to these styles, and just because your dream house is a Tudor does not necessitate that wood wraiths will be a part of your life. Even Victorian homes are occasionally free from this issue, unless they’re Gothic.
The rule of thumb is this: if a home is older than 1970 and has prominent wood flooring or wall features, consider the potential of wood wraiths in your price negotiations.
Here’s why the age is important: new homes are often built with new-growth trees from lumber plantations, and this modern lumber can bounce back emotion fairly well. In the nineteenth and early twentieth century, though, homes were built with lumber harvested directly from the depths of the North Woods. This wood is like a sponge—every tear or drop of blood that falls onto it is soaked right in. This is basic information that anyone familiar with construction can tell you.
In the wild, old trees are the equivalent of therapists for nature itself. They witness the pain and suffering of the world, absorb it, and process it back into the earth through their roots. After they’re harvested and disconnected from their roots, though, the suffering they witness has nowhere to go . . . until it inevitably manifests as a wood wraith.
There’s a little ecology lesson, straight from your local realtor!
When a house experiences a lot of pain over the course of generations, wood wraiths can start to get nasty. If you’re a young person used to renting in modern, new-build apartment complexes, let me explain how they operate.
During the daylight hours, wood wraiths can be difficult to spot. On a tour of a potential home, keep an eye out for knots in the house’s wood features that resemble gaping mouths or anguished eyes. Additionally, have an open ear for odd creaks. Older homes do tend to settle and make noises, but listen for sounds like gasps or sobs. That can be a telltale sign of wood wraiths in the property.
After dark, wood wraiths usually wait for residents to fall asleep before they emerge. Sometimes, though, there can be exceptions. For example, it’s possible to catch them in motion during the liminal gap between waking thought and total dream. Residents prone to sleep paralysis are most likely to spot them; the wraiths will be unable to tell the resident is actually conscious and feel comfortable looming at your bedside.
If you’re wondering how to differentiate a wood wraith from the typical sleep paralysis demons that haunt your mind, wood wraiths have a very distinctive appearance. They are tall and thin, usually just shorter than the height of your home’s ceiling, and their skin matches the color and texture of your home’s wooden features. They never have faces, and their fingers are long and brittle. They are, essentially, like a long-dead tree’s imagination of the person who killed it.
This is where it’s important to do your research on a potential home. Most wood wraiths are basically harmless. They may wander through the house, softly crying, or linger in the corner of your bedroom, watching the rise and fall of your chest and imagining what it must feel like to have a beating heart. However, the more a house has been marred with trauma and pain, the more likely a wood wraith is to lash out . . . violently, let’s say.
If you currently own an older home and are looking to prevent wood wraiths from setting in, remember that the old trees of the North Woods are still there to serve their purpose. Every once in a while, take a drive up past the headwaters of the Mississippi and walk as far into the trees as you can stomach. Take a breath, and speak all of your pain and turmoil out into the fresh, moist air. Let the pine and oak absorb your words and return your suffering to the earth.
If you do wake up late in the night and hear the low, gentle moans of a wraith somewhere within your home, just do your best to roll over and drift back into an uneasy, dreamless sleep.
If you enjoyed this article, give it a “like” on Facebook and keep Cathy Haan in mind for all your homebuying needs!
About the Author
Nick Porisch is a writer of science-fiction, horror, and beyond whose stories explore worlds where the bizarre meets the mundane. He lives in Minneapolis with his partner and cat. You can find more of his work on the Creepy Podcast, Alphanumeric Podcast, and more or follow him on Instagram @porischn.